The DungJack Creed! “10 Simple Rules to Live By!”

1. Don’t complain. No one actually gives a flying fuck anyway.
2. Attempt to please no one. What pleases someone today will at no point ever please them again.
3. When it comes to getting what you want, stop aiming. There is no target.
4. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. (Thanks FB. You were actually useful for once.)
5. I’m not saying to break the law, but you don’t need anyone's permission.
6. When you ask someone if they got your back, the only acceptable answer is yes. Anything more or less you should re-evaluate the role of that person in your life.
7. Stop taking shit so personal. 99% of what others say or do is not about you, because of you, or in response to you. So, get over yourself you fucking narcissist.
8. A lot of people are gonna piss down your back and try to convince you it is raining. Invest in a good raincoat.
9. Wanna really mind fuck someone? Agree with everything they say or disagree with everything they say without any further explanation. Then watch as they go ape shit trying to figure out what reality they are in.
10. If you cheat, cheat death. If you steal, may it be a woman’s heart. If you fight, make it a cause worth dying for, and if you drink, make a toast to me. Mr. DungJack.